Beware, Narcissus!

By now we have all seen the images. Carousers on beaches, partiers in bars, etc. The exuberance and perceived invincibility of youth which the government and media boosted with poor messaging. Modern incarnations of narcissus, so in love with their own beauty and youth they can see no other truths.

Sure, on a population scale, statistics are near destiny. However, on an individual scale, statistics are a poor substitute for adequate personal protective equipment.

Trust me, I know something about being the 1 in thousands. So does my wife and our first daughter. We were young, healthy, with access to good medical care. Statistically, we were destined for a healthy and uneventful pregnancy and healthy child.

Here is the thing about statistics, someone is that 1 in 100, 1 in 1,000, 1 in 10,000. And all the statistics in the world will not stop you from being that one.

At 3 weeks old we had to sit and hold our baby while she took her first and last breaths without a machine to breath for her. Statistics didn’t help me sleep. Statistics didn’t comfort my wife. Statistics didn’t soak up our tears in the middle of night.

Some of us young, otherwise healthy people will die from this. And the more people who get sick at once, the more of us and others will die.

The other side of those statistics is this: we all know 100 people, including people who are compromised or elderly. At the rate we are going, we will ALL know multiple people who will die from this virus. It will touch us all, one way or another.

As someone who knows about grief, do what you can to limit how many people you will have grieve over the next year. You may not be able to spend time with the people you love in their last hours because of restrictive hospital quarantines.

Someone you know, and in all likelihood, someone you love, will die alone in a hospital bed in the next year.

Why do anything which means this will happen more than has to?

Because it is inconvenient? Because it will cost money? Because it is boring? Because it isn’t necessary?

Because I don’t want to sacrifice for something which may not directly benefit me?

The Individual will No Longer Be King

We are at a deflection point in our nation’s soul. For the last 60 years, the role of the individual has increased in our nation’s psyche. Society and the good of all have occupied a smaller and smaller place in our national priorities.

This must change. This will change. The only way for as many people as possible to emerge from this alive is for all of humanity, but in our case, Americans, to remember we are part of something greater than ourselves.

Our petty desires and whims pale in contrast the great struggle humanity is embarking on. This is terrifying, but also an opportunity. Our dependence on one another, the bonds which keep families and communities functioning will grow clearer than they have been in a long time.

We are part of a whole. A mass of humanity, connected now more than ever. We must find where those connections can be nurtured, strengthened, and where each of our own gifts will contribute most.

Specifically, this is a calling to my generation, often known as Millennials to stand up and make our contribution. We must show up, we must act. This is the beginning of a great test as a nation and a generation. It has been decades since humanity has been called to such an epic task.

For some of us, it will be 3D printing of needed parts, sewing of masks, running to the front lines in hospitals, caring for elderly or high risk neighbors, getting groceries.

For others, this will simply be staying home. We will contribute to breaking the chain of infection.

We must not underestimate the courage of staying of home.

The act of staying home is no simple feat. Staying home makes real the fear of the threat we face. It would be much easier to pretend no threat exists, because no fear could torture us.

By staying home we sacrifice the sweet delusion of the absence of fear. It is worthy sacrifice, as we cannot be courageous until we have first felt fear.

Courage is resistance of fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.

-Mark Twain

So, I call on all of us to act courageously, to allow ourselves to feel afraid. We can only begin to know the depths of our collective courage once we have touched that fear collectively.

We cannot continue to hide our fear behind paper tiger statistics. We will not have truly entered the fray until we have allowed ourselves to feel at risk. We must show up and give of ourselves.

This means giving not what one wishes to give, but what others need. We must give what is so desperately needed, not something easily dispensed.

History has given us a moment to rise to the occasion. It is terrifying. Yet, it is an opportunity for us all to be our best.

Beware Narcissus, my fellow Millennials, live your best life, feel afraid, act courageously, stay home.

Image: Narcissus, by Michaelangelo Da Caravaggio, circa 1597 – 1599. Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Antica.

2 thoughts on “Beware, Narcissus!”

  1. The risk may only be 1% for a group, but if it’s *you* that has it, the risk is 100%.

    The worry I have is that many, even older people, aren’t taking this seriously. “It’s just a bad flu”.

    Damn, I hope they are right. However….I fear they are not

    1. The ecological fallacy is false comfort indeed. What I also think people can’t feel is the devastation which would befall so many people if our system becomes as overwhelmed as the Italian one. What happens when the door to balloon time for MI can’t get under 3 hours because there is no transport available, no ICU beds, all the vents are occupied. Or the trauma patients whose OR rooms have all been turned into makeshift ICUs. Not only will more people die of Covid, more people will die of otherwise treatable “normal” causes.

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